Everything about this makes sense and nothing about this makes sense. This is where I find myself. Split open, deeply conflicted and daunted at the path I’ve chosen. Compelled to follow a soul call that’s whispered to me for years and has become so loud I can no longer ignore it, whilst internally clinging on to the safe shore of a beautiful life I built for myself in a place that’s always been home.

It almost feels absurd. That somehow I’m not adult enough to make this decision and I’m still waiting for a knock at the door to say this is all some big mistake and none of its real.

But it is happening…

I’m moving with my son and my dog to Mallorca, just the three of us. I’m letting go of 90% of my life possessions and in running towards a new life I’m leaving behind people I love deeply, family, friendships and the security of a home I created that has held me as I birthed so much into this world. It’s a season of subtraction…

There’s a moment isn’t there? when it really locks in, when you realise “I’m doing this” it’s an energy I know all too well. It wasn’t met with open arms because I know what happens next. It’s going to bring me to my knees before it delivers…

If you want to be open to what else life holds for you, what lies beyond what is known then all you have to do is relinquish control…of everything. This is the moment when you meet yourself stripped of all the carefully curated constructs you surrounded yourself with to pretend you had any control in this life.

This is the in-between time, where you can’t go back because life as you knew it has irrevocably changed. You’ve outgrown the storyline, but now it’s all one swirling energy of utter chaos, possibility and adrenaline.  Your old life is collapsing, the energy muting itself because you’re meant to move on but you’re still deeply questioning if you’re prepared for it. Honestly, I’m still figuring out so much and it’s agonizing, challenging me in ways that I could never have prepared for.

How do I know its the right thing? Truthfully I am not 100% certain it is, but… my lived experience reminds me I have made countless decisions that went against the grain, which seemed crazy, risky and wholly unnecessary at the time but proved to me time and again that I know what’s right for me, what my soul story is here to teach me and how it will serve me.

Things have been locking into place one after another at a pace I wasn’t expecting, not straight forward but with a natural rhythm that feels like intervention beyond my directed thoughts. I have 3 months left in my beautiful home here in Scotland, and a great adventure awaiting me that will bring with it every possible emotion. How do I feel today? vulnerable and filled with awe that I can be brave enough to explore what else there is for me and my family even if I think I might me a little crazy.

After just returning from the Island this is what struck me, it already feels like home. The hardest thing beyond moving away from those you love is rejecting the comfort of what is known, but comfort doesn’t feel good to me anymore. So the only way out is through, this is certainly the most uncomfortable experience I have signed up for yet, but here I am. And for those who know me, how fiercely private I have been about my personal life, sharing even this level of insight about my journey is hard. But I work for Spirit and when they tell me this has to be shared with honesty I listen, so of this I’m sure, I’m meant to take you on this adventure with me, are you in?

This space is my therapy and my desire to perhaps gift you some clarity or soul soothing for the part of your life that is splitting you open and you’re right in the mess of the middle. The gold is the beauty of self-discovery, leaping into the unknown with your whole heart and soul on the line and trusting you won’t fall.

One thing I’ve learned in my time in this life is that challenges are part of the dance, we can’t escape them. Its the bravery you seek out to look them directly in the eye and keep going. These are the tests, the moments when you show yourself how much you trust in what’s right for you. In the face of adversity, in contrast to the opinions (and there are a lot of opinions!) When everything looks like it’s crumbling. When the certainty fades all you’re left with is the faith you have and the vision that calls to you. I’m reminded of the past lives I have endured, the inner strength that has shaped hundreds of lifetimes to bring me to this moment. And how I want to feel at the end of this lifetime as I look back at the choices I’ve made. And so I keep going…

The island is calling me home, calling me to the next level of growth, healing, and sacred connection. I trust deeply in what’s calling each of us, knowing that when we listen remarkable things unfold in ways we can’t fully explain, but that we feel deep in the grit and bones of the battlefield where we left our hearts on the front line.

Sometimes, chaos finds us without warning, bringing us to our knees. It’s soul anarchy at the deepest level, an awakening that often comes not by choice, but because destiny has its own divine design for each of us. These portals of chaos are the thresholds, proof that growth pushes us to the edge, laying down the lessons and the test to trust in the miraculous unfolding of our true path.

These are my Soul Diaries and this is my Golden Chapter…

Until next time

Keep Rising in love

Romy

As I flow towards a life that holds deep meaning, rooted in connection and infused with sunlight, Destiny paved the way for a new chapter of Soul-Led Ceremony…

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